BDSM GLOSSARY – P

P

Pain slut: A masochist; a person who enjoys receiving a heavy degree of pain; may or may not enjoy submitting. They may gain sexual pleasure, or crave the experience of “subspace”.

Panic attack (“freakout”): A situation in which a bottom is badly startled or becomes anxious or frightened, resulting in either becoming “frozen” or involuntary physical struggle. If startled—for example, a surprise “tickle attack”, injury may result; such as a broken nose from a flying elbow. Anxiety or fright may result from many things: bondage, pain, kidnap or rape play, edge play, etc. The “trigger” may not even be known before it happens. Precautions: When trying a form of play that the bottom has not experienced before, introduce it cautiously. In a new type of bondage, design a quick release feature; a pair of medical type scissors (strong, sharp, but with blunt ends for cutting close to skin) should be handy for rope bondage or mummification. Other types of play, such as new or stronger impact play, kidnap or rape play, or edge play, should be introduced without bondage.

Pansexual: One who engages in sexual or erotic activities with partners of all sexes and orientations.

Paraphilia (see fetish): A desire for erotic enjoyment based on an object, activity, or body part not generally considered sexual; for example, stuffed animals, shampooing, noses.

Pearl necklace: Slang; When a man ejaculates onto a neck; the drops resemble pearls.

Pegging: (1) The practice of using a strap-on dildo for penetration (generally applied female-to-male anal). (2) Sitting on a “peg” (like a butt plug, but fixed in place) with the intent of expanding the anus to facilitate anal sex, fisting, etc. (see anal training).

Permission: Nearly all power exchange relationships require the submissive to ask permission for certain things. Common examples: To leave the Dominant’s presence, to go to the bathroom, to eat or drink, to have an orgasm.

Pervert 1. One whose sexual behavior is considered unacceptably deviant (at least from a vanilla perspective). 2. Definition: A person whose kink is not the same as yours.

Pervertible: Common item which can be applied for sexual, fetish, or other BDSM purpose; i. e. wooden spoons, chopsticks, spatulas, super glue, drill bits, clothes pins, saran wrap, etc. (We were KIDDING about the super glue, OK?)

Pee Play: The Consensual use of urine during a scene, may also fit into Urolagnia. Urolagnia which is the drinking of, or sexual excitement of urine.

Pet: (1) A common term of affection. 2. (see pet play just below).

Pet play: (1) A submissive is treated as a loved and valued pet; as in puppy or pony. (2) A submissive is dehumanized by being reduced to the status of an animal (see objectification).

P-gasm: see progasm below

Phallic symbol: An object having some resemblance to the penis, or proportioned like a penis. Example: The Washington Monument has been referred to as the “world’s largest phallic symbol”.

Phallus: 1. A penis. 2. A penis substitute: dildo, vibrator, cucumber, etc.

Pinwheel: see Wartenberg pinwheel.

Play: 1. To engage in a BDSM scene or session (see scene). 2. A type of D/s or fetish activity, as in humiliation play, age play, toilet play, edge play.

Play collar (see Collar):1. A collar used only in play or at BDSM events. A play collar does not signify that the submissive or slave is owned but may signify that s/he is committed for the night or session. 2. A collar used for a specific type of play, as in a dog collar or any of a number of bondage collars.

Play party: A gathering for the purpose of enjoying BDSM play. May be held at someone’s home, or in a club-owned or commercial space (often referred to as a dungeon) specifically intended for the purpose. Usually has specific rules governing the safety and conduct of attendees (see House rules, Club rules).

Play punishment: Punishment which happens for fun/play, also can be known as 'funishment'. The aim of this is not to correct the s-type's behaviour, but to experience the punishment itself.

Plushie: One who plays with stuffed/plush animals, may or may not be sexually.

Polyamory: 1. Having multiple relationships with persons not in the same household; also called open marriage, open relationship. 2. Participating in living situations with more than one person; also called family, group “marriage”, multiple “marriage”, polygamy.

Polyfidelity: Group of people committed to each other, not having sexual or romantic ties outside of the commitment group.

Polysexual: Having sex with multiple partners without commitment. Often done in group parties or orgies.

Ponyboy, ponygirl (see pet play): A submissive dressed in a harness, often very decorative, usually with a bit gag and a butt plug** with a tail. Often they will pull their Dominants in a cart. Meetings and competitions are held for fanciers of this play.

Power exchange: Any situation where two or more people consensually and voluntarily agree to a relationship in which one (or more) people assume authority and one (or more) people yield authority, either for a predetermined time, or indefinitely. Relationships based on indefinite power exchange are often referred to as Total Power Exchange (TPE) relationships. The defining factor of power exchange is the conscious, deliberate construction of a power dynamic in which at least one person assumes psychological control to some agreed-upon extent over at least one other person.

Predicament bondage: A type of bondage in which the intent is to place the bound person in an awkward, difficult, inconvenient, or uncomfortable situation, or to set out a challenge for the bound person to overcome.

Pro-Dom/pro-Domme/pro-sub: professional who dominates or submits to paying customers. May or may not be an actual "kinkster"; may or may not include sex as part of the “service”.

Progasm (see cock milking, prostate massage): An orgasm from massage of the prostate only, without penile stimulation.

Prostate massage:( see p-gasm, cock milking): Stimulation of the prostate by a finger or object inserted into the anus. May be used alone (as in “cock milking”) or for enhancement of orgasms through intercourse, oral sex or masturbation. Can cause involuntary discharge of semen without orgasm (see “cock milking”, in which this is the primary goal). May cause some discomfort, especially at first, but can result in intense pleasure; a substitute in men for the female ability to experience repeated or extended orgasms. Caution: Prolonged or rough treatment of the prostate can cause long-lasting symptoms of pain, swelling, and difficult or painful urination, especially if the subject is already prone to prostate problems. As with any anal play, the tissues of the anus and rectum must be treated with caution. Rubber gloves and plenty of lubrication should be used; for “toys”, a condom is a good idea.

Protector (see Mentor): Someone who acts as a “screener” for a submissive, generally screening and evaluating prospective Dominants for suitability and ensuring that safe practices are followed if they should come to the point of physically meeting. (If one is “under Protection”, it is standard practice to message the Protector for approval to contact the submissive. Otherwise, the submissive may be instructed not to reply.)

Protocol: A formalized set of rules controlling the interaction between Dominants and submissives. This can be at any level. (1) In an individual relationship, a Dominant usually dictates certain rules for given situations, such as forms of address in speech or writing, when to kneel, what to ask permission for, and how to behave online, in public or with lifestyle friends, as just a few examples. There may be different levels of protocol; for example, when wearing the Collar, the submissive may be expected to behave in a more ritualistic fashion (sometimes referred to as “high protocol”). The rules may be more relaxed, or “low protocol”, when the couple is interacting in casual, everyday mode. (2) A BDSM group or club may establish a protocol for interaction between its members; for example, how a submissive addresses another Dominant, how a Dom may interact with an unattached sub, etc. (3) Various sectors of the BDSM community, for example the leather community or Goreans, may have very detailed and explicit “high protocol” rules for interaction between its members.

Psychological bondage (also mental bondage): Being forced to remain in a position by orders of the Dominant.

Pudenda (plural; pudendum singular): The external genitals; usually the female genitals. Note: Derived from a Latin term meaning “parts of shame”, this word goes to show how the female sex organs were regarded during the baroque era, when this word came into use, and up to the 1950s or so, when it was still in common use, at least in the medical professions. “Pudenda… ick… unclean!”

Pup-play or puppy play: See pet play.

”push a limit” (see consent, hard limit, soft limit, red flags): To cautiously explore the nature of a submissive’s limit, either to challenge her or to encourage her to do something she is reluctant to do, but which her Dominant desires.


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BDSM GLOSSARY - P

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